Fast Food

...but not like that. Nope -- today's post is on 10 minute applesauce and hour-or-less bread.

First, the bread. The recipe's posted on Recipezaar -- I've made it about a billion times no problem, so ignore the low rating & give it a try! I can't make anything without changing it...so this time I took a tablespoon of dried garlic, rehydrated it in boiling water, and added it with the water and oil. The rolls turned out fabulously, and this is absolutely the fastest bread recipe ever.

The applesauce is even faster. Peel and slice one apple (Macs and Jonathans are best in my opinion), sprinkle with about 1 and a half teaspoons of sugar (I used brown sugar -- it's all that's in the house at the moment -- but white sugar works well too) and cinnamon/ginger/nutmeg/cloves to taste (maybe 1/2 tsp of cinnamon, only a pinch of any or all of the others). And a pinch of salt (trust me on this one). Then add about 1/4 cup water (less if you like a thicker applesauce) and microwave for 2 to 3 minutes. Mmmm.

Noms de Plume

Got this from a random blog and was very amused. I've done the "rockstar" name before...but, being over 18, we called it the "pornstar" name. And it was first pet instead of current.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: ( pet and current street name)
Buttercup Maynard (in keeping with how I learned it)...Loki Maynard, Lillie Maynard, Evil Maynard...Schwubbie Maynard? Maybe not. (There would, of course, be about 10 billion variations on this theme...but I can't imagine "Leanie Maynard" or "Toaster Maynard" ever topping the pop charts.) But, if I take into account my roommate's cats, I could be Rojo Maynard. I like that.

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your moms side, your favorite candy)
I am totally drawing a blank on what my favorite candy is. Dark chocolate? Miriam Dark Chocolate is not particularly movie-star-ish. Maybe I'll come back to that later.

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of last name, first three letters of your middle name)
C Han. Mmmm. That's not doing much for me either.

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Olive green Duck-billed Platypus!! Suave...and incognito.

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Hannah Pittsfield. With a name like that, I'm totally getting cast as someone's mom.

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom’s maiden name and first 3 letters of the town you grew up in.)
Cohrerostr? I think that's "right". But, not being a huge Star Wars fan, I wouldn't know. (Although, note to readers, the Star Wars versus Lord of the Rings scene in Clerks 2 was one of the funniest things I've ever seen...and I haven't seen Star Wars OR Lord of the Rings.)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The”, your favorite color, favorite drink)
The Olive Green Amaretto Sour? Let's try that again...I think that I shall be The Blue Guinness. Yes, that's much better.

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first name of both your grandfathers)
David Irving. Sounds more like a writer than a NASCAR driver.

9. FUTURISTIC NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne and the name of your favorite shoes) Uhhhhh. Pass.

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother/father’s middle name )
Laurie Allen. Double points for me if I actually spelled one or both of those correctly.

Well, wish me luck on tomorrow's test -- sadly, there is no amusing "Student Doctor" name generator. Hmmm, maybe dad's mom's first name and town where you went to undergrad. Yes, yes...so, Roslyn Columbus, signing off. (And hello to Roslyn State College.)

Booty Fruity, Halloween Edition

Butt-pumpkin! (And while I am sure that is something totally dirty...this is just a pumpkin that looks like a butt.)